she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
