I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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