Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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