i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
