So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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