What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
