I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
