i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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