3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
