apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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