You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
