Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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