i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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