can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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