Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
