is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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