The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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