the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Im part way to drunk.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
