You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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