Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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