Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
