In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
