I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
