this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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