I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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