Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
