Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
