so explain again why im purple
no
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
