The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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