you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
