careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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