she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
