New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
