If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
now i know why i became what i already was.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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