Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
