therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
