You can't special order awesome
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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