i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
