people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
