On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
