My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
