That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
