I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
