Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
40s are totally the cure
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
