if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
