some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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