I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
