You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
