I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
