you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
