Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
