i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
